Can haz SPLATMOBILE?

Every dynamic duo super hero squadron needs a fresh whip. Recently, we acquired this 1976 EZGO golf cart from Craig’s List and applied for a license with the Department of Mutant Vehicles at Black Rock City for this year’s Burning Man Metropolis event.

Here’s a little bit on our machine:

The SPLATMOBILE is the ultimate interactive entertainment and cool-off device, equipped in the daytime with a fully functioning SPLAT gun featuring Der Schplatzl, the super secret synth syrup catalyst with the molecular make-up of H20. (not to be ingested) It is designed to wet your panties, most literally. Designed as a Pink Tank, the SPLATMOBILE promises to allow us to reach a new level of activation in soul and mind through the conduit of bodily wetness, particularly in the nether regions.

At night the tank lights up into a glowing pink and the SPLAT gun is replace with a laser lapper, fully equipped with sound effects!

About the Vehicle’s Mutation:
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Andrew Luck and Dosadi will travel to an alternate dimension to retrieve the SPLATMOBILE and Der Schplatzl from a Goddess life form similar in form to David Bowie in the Labyrinth. In a ritual ceremony, a special frame exterior will wrap the shell vehicle, focusing into a hyper-beamed amalgam of crunchy space funk, secured with neo-grav rotational bass-wobble technology. The shell will consist of a corefoam plastic material and foam will be applied to all sharp corners and edges of the vehicle for safety.

Lighting Plans:
————–
A UV reactive pink paint will be used for the exterior shell of the SPLATMOBILE. UV LEDs will illuminate the pink paint and run off of a deep cycle marine battery charged by the alternator and a wind turbine. (wind turbine is not on the SPLATMOBILE)

At night the gun will be replaced with a special laser/light blaster with sound effects.

Mutant Vehicle Intent:
———————
The pink tank styling of the SPLATMOBILE is essential to all love and peace making in any metropolis. Without governing authority there would be no way to spread Der Schplatzl in the panties.

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